First off, you should that I am not a nutritionist, nor a dietician. I have learned what I have learned through trial & error, a lot of internet research and good old fashioned reading of books... and I came to the paleo lifestyle as a last ditch effort to save my life really. To put it bluntly, I am a child sexual abuse survivor. I have spent a lifetime in therapy and on anti-depressants, not to mention absurd amounts of money. I had my first major breakdown at the age of 25, causing me to miss two weeks of work and then go back only part-time for a while. Then I met my husband, moved from Detroit to Brooklyn and managed okay for a while but had pretty much accepted that I would be on medication for the rest of my life. After giving birth to our only son, I suffered some pretty severe post-partum depression and things just got worse and worse and eventually got to a point where my medications just stopped working. We increased my doses without success, we tried the 'latest and greatest' meds developed specifically for Major Depressive Disorder. None of it worked and the side effects of the high dosages and medications could be atrocious at worst and annoying at best. A little over three years ago, my psychiatrist examined my diet and encouraged me to switch to one that cut out processed foods and focused on eating whole, real food. And although I started to lose weight and physically felt a whole lot better, something was still wrong. I tried supplements and probiotics; I insisted that we try thyroid meds because I had been borderline hypothyroid for as long as I could remember. It helped for a few months, but then I was right back to where I started. Depressed and anxious. Anxious or depressed. Some days I couldn't decide which was worse, but I knew deep down that there was something physiological going on in my body that was exacerbating these conditions. I had talked through the trauma of my childhood and honestly felt like I was over it. That thing was no longer lurking and tugging at my gut, but I later came to realize that something else was.
It wasn't until about a year and a half later and with the urging of my psychiatrist that I finally took the plunge and gave up gluten. I didn't WANT to give it up, but my body was so very broken and I was desperate for relief. Suicidal thoughts were often on my radar and I genuinely thought that my husband and son would be better off without me. Giving up the gluten helped a fair bit, but not quite enough. I finally sought the help of a skilled acupuncturist who was also very in tune to nutritional healing. When I mentioned to him that I was considering going grain and dairy-free he was nodding in agreement before I could even get the words out. Long story short, making that decision was one of the best I have ever made. I have now been mostly paleo (yes, I still drink alcohol and eat legumes and probably some other things that are forbidden on a strict paleo diet), but switching to this lifestyle has helped me to live. And to WANT to live. Because, honestly for most of my life, I truly did not, I merely existed. Of course, I've made other lifestyle changes, I try to meditate, I do yoga and pilates. Try to get outside for walks as much as possible. After months of deliberation, I started eating grass-fed beef and pork after a 20 year hiatus that left me with a B12 deficiency (which consequently can cause, you guessed it, depression and anxiety!). I've even started using cricket flour (yes, crickets!) but that's for another post. I try to get a decent night's sleep, do breathing techniques, chant Ohm... etc, etc. And then there's the weight loss, just an extra 'side-effect' of healing your body through food. I have changed in so many ways and am even now going through training to become certified to teach Pilates mat classes. Something which is so far out of my comfort zone, but I know to be a necessary step as part of my healing process. I still have my grey days, but know that this is all a journey and that I am a work-in-progress. However, I am almost completely off of my anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds and wanting to share with the world my story, my journey and my experiences with the hope of helping others to not have to endure what I have and possibly save those who may be at their very lowest. But also my recipes, from one who used to despise cooking (from a box) to one who now finds preparing healthy, wholesome foods a zen and completely fulfilling experience. So with that, I will leave you with one of my favorite recipes; a grapefruit green smoothie that will leave you feeling full and satisfied without the ill effects of a sugar crash! I hope you enjoy taking this journey with me and remember that baby steps are better than no steps at all!
Grapefruit Green Smoothie:
Feel free to exclude items as desired and adjust ratios to suit your tastes. Ingredients should be organic when possible, but conventional real food is still preferable to processed!
1/2 grapefruit
1/2 avocado
1/4-1/2 frozen banana (depending on size)
2-3 frozen strawberries
2-3 celery stalks
1 inch raw ginger
2 handfuls raw spinach or steamed and frozen
1 TB parsley
2 TB flax and/or hemp seeds
1 TB cricket flour (think complete protein!)
1 TB coconut oil
1/2 lemon, juiced
plain water + coconut water to desired consistency
ice (if desired)
Blend and enjoy as a nutritious breakfast or snack any time of day!
Serves 1-2
P.S. I am also not a writer and am terrible at grammar, so my apologies... but it's the sentiment that counts, right?! You can find me on Instagram @paleoHOUND. I'd love to hear from you and if you have a healing story to share, please do so in the comments! There's lots more to come and I'm very much looking forward to sharing with you!
